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Oct. 7th, 2008

Panda

Troubled Waters

(Another poem. I guess I have been in a poem-y mood. Enjoy.)

River aflow, ripe with hopeless fruit
Unable to pass, damned by green
A tree barren; entirely uproot
Waters of discontent stream

Upon salt does it flow
A sea poor'd of golden cup
This endless ocean, tide is low
Lost in the surf, is the sky still up?

Of puddle there is a more
Splash'd upon thy breast
It yet beats, treacherous whore
Want of only tryst

Alas, land is in sight
O'er mountains still I see
Again after my respite
An ocean yet ahead of me

Sep. 7th, 2008

Panda

Life I've Lead

Must have made a wrong turn
Just now come to a dead end
Y'know my heart it used to burn
Now it just feels dead

Was it something that I did
Or something that I said
Another joke I overdid
Or just the life I've lead

I know my pride gets in the way
Act like I'm better than them
Truth is I'm just not okay
Not worth the time you spend

Perhaps I'm not good enough
For you to want to care
I know your life is pretty rough
Should I invite you to share?

Was it something that I did
Or something that I said
Another joke I overdid
Or just the life I've lead

Do you like me
Will they like me
If I'm just me

Try to impress you
But the things I do
Are mostly just for me

I know I'm selfish
I know I'm careless
I don't know what you see

Was it something that I did
Or something that I said
Another joke I overdid
Or just the life I've lead

Aug. 14th, 2008

Friends

Plastic Trees

The moon filters in
Through melted leaves
I sit with a man
In the shade of a tree

Flourescent light glows
Shines on the grease
Conversation flows
Beneath Plastic Trees

Smooth hard grass
Underneath our feet
Some years did pass
'Til this night did we meet

A red neon glow
The moon reaches out
Like I didn't know
It ends with a pout

Flourescent light glows
Shines on the grease
Conversation flows
Beneath Plastic Trees

One last embrace
Before the night ends
Memorize his face
The greatest of men

A smile breaks through
The tears in my eye
It'd never be true
Love like this doesn't die

((This is the most personal song I've ever written. I love it, and it's definitely my favorite. I hope you like it too. PLEASE let me know.))
Panda

Overreact

I always overreact
Never looking back
Finally I see
Lonliness my plea

I can't help but be jealous
It's not my fault I'm this way
You know women can be callous
You'll be different I pray

I've no reason to worry
So why can't I shake this feeling
There's no need to hurry
My heart I know you won't leave reeling

I swear it's not your fault
I'm just paranoid
You've taken me like a cult
You've got me listening to Floyd

I always overreact
Never looking back
Finally I see
Together you and me.

((This is something new for me, I usually don't write happy love songs. Well... sort of happy. It ended good. Whatcha guys think?))

Aug. 13th, 2008

Panda

(no subject)

Alrighty then. So, as you know, the big comics convention, Comic-Con (creative, I know) was last month. Me, being the good little nerd that I am, went. I took my friend Adam, and we spent the whole week at my dad's house in San Diego.

Lest you doubt my nerdiness... )
Weird

Short Story Taim!

It is said that every mirrored surface is a gateway to the realm where our reflections live and are forced to do everything we do. If you look into a mirror and see your own reflection is missing, run. Run until you can see yourself in the windows of the buildings and the puddles on the street. No one can go over and come back. Except for in one place. Deep in a forest there is a pool that never has a wave on it's surface, no matter how hard the wind is blowing, or even if you throw a rock into
it. . .



Apartment 4F. In a small city, in a small building was Apartment 4F. Faded reds and blacks and blues and browns covered the floor, and a distinct odor floated from the kitchen sink throughout the entire house. Past the living room was a hallway, which led to the bedroom. More dirty clothes provided carpeting, sharing the floor with scraps of food and trash. The only light in the room came from the LED alarm clock, which read: 2:23 AM.

Laying in the bed was a small man, no more than five feet tall, with short red hair and a long, scraggly beard. Sleeping, he turned to his other side, tangling the blanket in his legs. His mouth was open, and drool flowed out of it on to his pillow. Again, he turned, this time pulling the blanket completely off of him, and on to the floor.

In his mind, he was running. Running to or from something he didn’t know. All he knew was the constant rhythm of his feet hitting the dirt floor. Suddenly, he stopped. In front of him was a dirty mirror. The man took off his shirt, and wiped it down. He took a few steps back, and gazed in to the mirror. There was no reflection. Seeing this, he smiled. Without warning, he felt a hand clap on his back…

The alarm went off. Startled, Gerald awoke, cold sweat dripping off of his forehead. He shook his head violently to wake himself up. Hanging in front of him was the smoke of his breath; his heater was broken, and it was four days before Christmas.


Not wanting to leave the bed, but also not wanting to relive the hell he found in his sleep, Gerald forced himself in to the bathroom. First things first he thought, as he unzipped his trousers and relieved himself. As he walked out and closed the door, he heard one, single knock. Frightened, he turned around to find the source of the rapping. All he saw was his own reflection in the mirror, staring back at him. Putting it up to coincidence, the man left the bathroom again, and closed the door behind him.

He walked the minefield of his living room carefully, strategically choosing his steps, and he eventually reached the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot. Waiting for it to heat, he looked at the enormous pile of dishes, and sighed. Again, he heard a knock. This time, it seemed to be coming from his coffee pot, which was preposterous. He examined it carefully, looking for some sort of crack, but found the glass container perfectly intact. The only thing he saw blemishing its perfect surface was himself, staring grimly out of it.

Gerald sat on the couch, tossing a few more shirts on to the floor. He threw an arm up on the back of the couch, and sipped his coffee. The remote for the television sat on the glass table by his feet. He looked at it, then the tv, then the remote again. Compromising his comfortable position, he leaned forward, and reached for it. As his hand closed around the clicker, he paused. For a split second, he sword he could feel fingertips touching his as he touched the table, but in an instant… it was gone. Ignoring it, he leaned back again, trying to find the comfortable position again, and failed. Giving up, he turned on the tv, and sipped his coffee. As he sipped, he slowly began falling asleep again. His weariness allowed him only one thought before falling back in to his slumber: Gerald suddenly remembered he’d bought decaf on accident.

He dreamed that he was in the middle of a forest. The stars winked at him in their twilight, and he could see the very tip of the sun on the horizon. In front of him lay a beautiful lake, completely still. It perfectly reflected the thousands of trees in every direction. The more he stared at it, the more he realized that so much as a ripple never disturbed it. Upon further observation, he saw that it glowed. Reaching in to his pockets for his cell phone, for he desperately needed to keep this lake in his memory forever, he found that they were filled with… rocks. In fact, they were overflowing with rocks. They were all the same: small, round, and a shining white. So white that it almost blinded him.

A force came over Gerald. He lost all control of his actions, and began walking towards the lake. His left foot was the first to break the surface. Still, not so much as a wave broke the surface of the lake. Before he knew it, he was knee deep in the lake. The water was up to his chin, his nose, his eyes, and finally, he was completely submerged.

Gerald woke up. Again, in a cold sweat, however, this time his entire body was drenched, as though he’d been underwater. There was a huge stain on the couch. The clock above the TV said 10:00 PM. Great he thought, I slept through work.

The light on his phone that told him he had messages was blinking. Gerald picked up the phone, expecting to hear his boss, yelling. Instead, there was nothing. Just breathing. A constant, deep, heavy breathing. Twelve messages of this same, exact breathing.

“Damn kids…” he muttered, not quite convinced.

He looked at the clock again, which now read 10:15. Deciding he had nothing better to do, he decided to go out and grab a bite to eat. As he was walking out the door, he ran his fingers through his hair. It was completely tangled, complete with knots. Along with this, he remembered that his clothes were drenched. Hungry, but wanting to be presentable, Gerald ran back to his bathroom, and hurriedly took off his clothes, and jumped in the shower. In under six minutes, he shampooed, washed, and rinsed. He jumped out, and grabbed a towel hanging behind him next to the mirror. Annoyed, he threw on his clothes, and began to comb his hair. When he finished, he turned around to look at the finished product in the mirror.


Only… there was nothing in the mirror. It just showed the room behind him, completely ignoring the fact that he was standing right in front of it. Gerald slapped himself, to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. Another look up confirmed it:

Gerald had no reflection.

This so intensely terrified him, so intensely scared him that he ran. He ran through the hallway, through his living room, out the door and in to the street. He ran through the streets in to the city, past the city towards the trees. Past the trees he found…

A lake. In front of him was a perfect, unmoving lake. In the center of the lake, Gerald saw a dot of red rise. Now entirely freaked, Gerald continued running, in the other direction.

All he knew was the constant rhythm of his feet hitting the dirt floor. Suddenly, he stopped. In front of him was a dirty mirror. Gerald took off his shirt, and wiped it down. He took a few steps back, and gazed in to the mirror. There was nothing. Gerald grinned, knowing that it could not possibly be HIMSELF coming up from the lake.

He felt a hand clap on his shoulder. Gerald turn around, terrified that he might find a familiar face staring back at him.

From the sky, suddenly, a branch fell from a tree. It hit Gerald in the head, killing him instantly.


((I hope you like this. Let me know! I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever I've been... unmotivated. :D. I will post my Comic-Con report soon, I promise. Probably even sometime later today. Oh LJ, how I've missed you.))

Feb. 18th, 2008

LOST

Hey! Look at what I made!

So... since I'm busy being an insomniac right now, I decided to make me some icons.

, , , , and

They're all LOST related... but I think they turned out pretty good. 

Feb. 6th, 2008

Weird

:O

Dec. 21st, 2007

Panda

...Really?

I hate people like this.

Dec. 9th, 2007

Panda

God FTW


Nov. 28th, 2007

Panda

Sha- no. No. We're not going to go there.

'nother new song. Except this one is debuting here on LiveJournal. This is an exclusive. Lol.

It's called 'Take Away'

I can't sleep
Look at what's happened
What you reap
All you do is pretend

The things you take away
I'll never forget this day
Even though I need something
All I get is nothing

I feel broken
Nothing's right inside
I've awoken
Fears are cast aside

The things you take away
I'll never forget this day
Even though I need something
All I get is nothing

You make me so sick
In fact you wanted this
The walls you build so thick

You've forsaken
Everything you've wanted
But you've taken
Everything away

The things you take away
I'll never forget this day
Even though I need something
All I get is nothing

Nov. 15th, 2007

Panda

Sticks Shakin in the distance

Far Away

You say that you can't love me
But I don't quite agree
You said you live too far away
I said "Just wait and see"

Everyone falls down sometimes
Everyone has his flaws
Everyone will sing their song
No one hears their calls

Fuck this I don't think you care
Maybe I'll find someone somewhere
I don't want this game you play
Nope, not me, won't play today

Everyone needs anyone
Anyone to need
I'd like to think that your the one
But I can't play the lead

You say that you can't love me
But I have to disagree
You said that you found someone else
Why oh why why me?

Everyone falls down sometimes
Everyone has his flaws
Everyone will sing their song
No one hears their calls

I wish I could be someone else
I wish I could be tame
I wish I wasn't so hung up
I wish I wasn't lame

Everyone falls down sometimes
Everyone has his flaws
Everyone will sing this song
You never got my call
Panda

Shaking Gingerbread

Gingerbread Man(it's another wacky one :P)



All the problems and the pain
Make you run run run run run run run away
And you hope and you pray
That he didn't die in vain
But you'll never find a place to hide your problems
No matter where you run they'll always find you

So run run run just as fast as you can
And You'll never catch me
'Cause I'm the Gingerbread Man

And every single time you try
You'll want to run away and hide
And every single time you die
You'll never hear me cry

You burst through the door
And the blood is everywhere
You've been shot in the back
By someone you called your friend
And you hope and you pray that you won't die in vain
But you know that you will and it brings even more pain

So run run run just as fast as you can
And You'll never catch me
'Cause I'm the Gingerbread Man

And every single time you try
You'll want to run away and hide
And every single time you die
You'll never hear me cry

You'll pick it up, you know you've got to pick it up
Before you'll ever want to throw it down on to the ground
And you'll pick it up, and throw it down
All before you realize that it was all for nothing

So blow your horn and beat your drum
It'll all fall down before you have a chance to drown
This ocean of emotion isn't made for changing
So you've just got to keep it up and keep on trying!

So run run run just as fast as you can
And You'll never catch me
'Cause I'm the Gingerbread Man

And every single time you try
You'll want to run away and hide
And every single time you die
You'll never hear me cry

You'll never hear me cry
Oh my my my
What a life we had when we still had him
And just before he died
He crawled through the door singing

I hope so bad that this battle is won
And even if it's not I hope you tell my son
And my wife and my kids and even my enemies
Everything will be okay, their pain is gonna go away
With my death tonight even though the war is lost
I didn't die in vain, my life had it's cost

So run run run just as fast as you can
And You'll never catch me
'Cause I'm the Gingerbread Man

And every single time you try
You'll want to run away and hide
And every single time you die
You'll never hear me cry
Panda

The Concept of Shaking Sticks

This is a concept album. It's seven songs long, and, as you'll probably be able to tell, it is about the five stages of death. I, personally, enjoy it very much, and I hope you do to.

Thus begins Stages

First song: Death of a Hero

Today we gather to honor the death
Of one of the world's greatest heroes

He was a husband
He was a father
He was a lover

But most importantly
Above everything else
He was the same as everyone else
He did what he was told
Never questioned authority

Could have been your brother
Could have been your neighbor
Could have been your Uncle

And no one noticed him
He lived a normal life

So how will we remember
How will we remember him
If he did nothing spectacular
Did nothing irregular

Here's how we'll remember
We'll remember because

He was a Husband
He was a Father
He was a Lover

And that's all he ever
Was

Second song: I Won't Believe (Denial)

A life is taken
Which was once forsaken
A death in vain
Fills us all with pain
So rise rise to your feet again

They say I'm in denial
But I can't find a reason why
I should fall in line and follow
I'll choose what I want to believe

There's a shadow watching over me
is it mine or is this just fantasy
moving to fast can't keep up with myself
And I trust the truth will come eventually

They say I'm in denial
But I can't find a reason why
I should fall in line and follow
I'll choose what I want to believe

He was her Father
He was my husband
He was my lover
I'll never accept that he's gone

They say I'm in denial
But I can't find a reason why
I should fall in line and follow
I'll choose what I want to believe

Third Song: Alone(Anger)

I feel like I'm all alone
No one here to care for me
Not a single sympathetic moan
Just go away and let me be

Why
How could you do this to me
How
Will I survive now that your gone
When
Will this be explained to me
You've left me all alone

Inside it feels like I'm broken
Nothing seems to be real
Now that your life has been taken
You've gone beyond the veil(I may change this line)

Why
How could you do this to me
How
Will I survive now that your gone
When
Will this be explained to me
You've left me all alone

It makes me think you never cared for me
Makes me feel down inside
That you never cared or loved me
It's time that some of us cried

How could you leave
How could you die
Like this and leave me all alone

Why
Must all of us
Cry
While accepting deep down
You never cared at all

Fourth Song: Dear God(Bargaining)

Dear God
I hope you get this prayer
We haven't talked in a while
It's been a rough couple of days
Just hear me out

I promise
I'll never sin again
Just bring him back
I need him
And I promise I'll be a better wife
Just give me my Husband back

Dear god
I've never been very religious
But these past few days have been hell
This won't take long
Just hear me out

I promise
I'll never sin again
Just bring him back
I need him
And I promise I'll be a better son
Just give my Father Back

It feels like I can't go on anymore
Just grant my one request
And I promise that I'll do my best
To keep my end of the deal

Just give him back

Fifth Song: I Quit (Depression)

You've taken everything away
That's it
What did I do to deserve this
I quit

I don't care anymore
Let me feel death's embrace
It seems I can't go on anymore
Let me breath my final breath

Now it's over
He's really gone now
And there's nothing I can do
I've failed
Everything is my fault
Just let me go away

When I find myself alone
That's it
Pull the trigger, Close the door
I quit

I don't care anymore
Just let me feel death's embrace
I'll leave this world behind
And join my- (sound of gunshot)

Sixth Song: Death of a Hero Reprise (Acceptance)

Today we gather to honor the death
Of one of the world's greatest heroes

She was a wife
She was a mother
She was a lover

But most importnatly
Above everything else
She was different from everyone else
She didn't do what she was told
Always questioned authority

Couldn't have been your sister
Couldn't have been your neighbor
Couldn't have been your aunt

And everyone noticed her
She lived a full life

So why did she do this
Why did she take her life
If she did everything spectacular
Did everything irregular

This is why she did it
She did it because

She was a Wife
She was a Mother
She was a Lover

And that's all she ever
Was

Seventh Song: Fate(Acceptance)

Everything's come full circle
Reunited by their end
The pains and tears wash away
Now lost, my only friend

Fate has forsaken me
Only now can I see
Tears are running free
Can't they just leave me be

I've seen this through
To the last page
My head's full of stress
And my heart's full of rage

Now on bended knee
With ring in hand
Don't they see
My head in the sand

Don't ignore it anymore
Accept what you feel
Life goes on
In the desert of the real!

Fate has forsaken me
Only now can I see
Tears are running free
Can't they just leave me be
Panda

Obligatory reference to shaking sticks

Obligation

Do you get anything out of this
Can you feel my emotion
Are you just fulfilling an obligation
Wounds like those you leave never heal
Is this the end

I spill my hearts contents on the table
With your napkin you wipe it up
Only to dump it in the trash
Hastily telling me that it isn't alright
Throw me away instead

Take me away from this place
This heaven's turned into hell
Just tell me to my face
Everything isn't well

Do you see the rocks below us
Sharpened like knives to kill
Seems as though we're falling
Weapons they seem, though only words
Where do we go from here

Are you just going through the motions
Is any of this for real
Or do you just fake the emotion
There's nothing for me to feel

Take me away from this place
This heaven's turned into hell
Just tell me to my face
Everything isn't well

When you've decided if this is worth it
Let me know what you think of me
If this is a game you want to forfeit
Just let me know, it'll be alright

Take me away from this place
This heaven's turned into hell
Just tell me to my face
Everything isn't well
Panda

Forest of shaking sticks

Forst of Confusion

Forests of confusion
Cobwebs don't spell spiders
Leaves of infusion
Bears don't fight intruders

Rockets to my braincells
Glass not empty nor half-full
Twenty Five cents for refills
On the sole of your soul

Bounce to the moon and back
Forever and now look forward
Inner-pain and walls with cracks
Nothing worth working toward

Forests of confusion
Cobwebs don't spell spiders
Leaves of infusion
Bears don't fight intruders

Brand-new unless you crack the seal
Jets fighting colors in your laces
Rainbows level the playing field
Stunned looks across your faces

Forget everything you thought you thought
Even though you could never forget me
Every battle you fought you fought
To get to see through the number three

Forests of confusion
Cobwebs don't spell spiders
Leaves of infusion
Bears don't fight intruders

Forests of confusion
Cobwebs don't spell spiders
Leaves of infusion
Bears don't fight intruders
Panda

Who cares about shaking sticks anyways?

Pain/Fear

Everybody says
These are the golden years
From beneath the fountain
We drink to all our fears

Why is it so hard to understand
What is it you can't comprehend
When everything is gone
There's nothing more to defend

Pain
Shoves its fist down your throat
Fear
Looks at you like a stranger
The royalty is in your blood

Blackest night falls upon us
Like Judas for 30 silver
Betrayal is your middle name

Pain
Shoves its fist down your throat
Fear
Looks at you like a stranger
The royalty is in your blood

Shining like blood on the floor
A brightness that floods around us
The light surrounds you
You run the risk of blindness

Pain
Shoves its fist down your throat
Fear
Looks at you like a stranger
The royalty is in your blood
Panda

Crazy Cereal Stick Shakers

Toucan Sam(This one is effing ridiculous :P)

There once was a place in far far away
Where you could eat cereal every day
And tony the tiger and Cap'n crunch
Were you're neighbors that had you over for lunch

And you can do drugs with toucan sam
He'll follow his nose to a magical land
Where the milk filled rivers flow through the chocolate valleys

Lucky the Leprauchaun is at the bar
ask him he'll tell you about his shooting star
He's so drunk he can barely see
That he has become a giant green abomination

And you can do drugs with toucan sam
He'll follow his nose to a magical land
Where the milk filled rivers flow through the chocolate valleys

That Trix Rabbit doesn't want your cereal
If you let him he'll give you venereal
Trix doesn't mean what you think
So pour that stuff down your sink

And you can do drugs with toucan sam
He'll follow his nose to a magical land
Where the milk filled rivers flow through the chocolate valleys

Cap'n Crunch likes to crunchatize
When it happens the smoke gets in his eyes
Once you get there you can realize
Crunchatize means drugs, and you've been fooled again

And you can do drugs with toucan sam
He'll follow his nose to a magical land
Where the milk filled rivers flow through the chocolate valleys

Tony the tiger is the worst of the bunch
He'll eat his way through Cap'n Crunch
His teeth are visciously dangerous and he'll cut through you
Like a trained surgeon cuts through sheep with his sharpened knives

And you can do drugs with toucan sam
He'll follow his nose to a magical land
Where the milk filled rivers flow through the chocolate valleys

You can do drugs
With Toucan Sam
Toucan
Sam
Panda

Shaking Sticks with Part 294

This Won't Work

Sweeping the ground your scepter falls
Learn to swing that blade both ways
I'm learning from this situational
awareness, and I need to get this out

This won't work
Can't you tell
I've wasted my time
This has all gone to hell

Who the fuck do you think you are
You killed my dreams and you crashed my car
So tell me please what the hell you want

This won't work
Can't you tell
I've wasted my time
This has all gone to hell

This agression consumes all
Way to drop the fucking ball
I don't need your shit today
I've got to kill you in every way

These things don't help
There is no hope
I can't shake this off
This is not okay
It is not okay

This won't work
Can't you tell
I've wasted my time
This has all gone to hell
Panda

I'll shake your stick (part 84)

Why do people think?

What are you wearing underneath your skin
How does your inside work anyways
Why do people think that we always
Lie to them

Everyone needs someone to love
Especially when that person hates them back
That's the reason I wrote this song
Because everyone needs a little anger release

Everyone needs someone to look down on
Tell everyone that they're better at things
Like playing guitar, and wearing their rings
Because that's what mutual means or something like that

What are you wearing underneath your skin
How does your inside work anyways
Why do people think that we always
Lie to them

When does this funny feeling stop
It's taking control of your wristbands
Why don't you ever return my calls
Is it because I told your mom that she was strange

What are you wearing underneath your skin
How does your inside work anyways
Why do people think that we always
Lie to them

What are you wearing underneath your skin
How does your inside work anyways
Why do people think that we always
Lie to them

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